It’s Not Just a Game Anymore
How to support kids when sports lose their spark
Your kid used to light up at the thought of practice, sprinting to grab their gear, eager to see friends, talking nonstop about their next game.
Now?
They drag their feet. They complain of stomachaches. You catch them checking the clock more than they’re paying attention to the coach.
Something’s changed.
Every fall, backpacks are zipped and cleats are laced. Thousands of kids return to fields, courts, and gyms across the country.
But by the time they turn 13, a lot of them will have already quit sports altogether.
Yep, research shows about 70% of kids drop out of organized sports by age 13. And no, it’s not because they suddenly hate soccer or forgot how to dribble. It’s often something deeper.
So, what’s going on?
A lot of kids tell us the same thing in different ways:
“It’s not fun anymore.”
But not fun doesn’t always mean boredom. It can mean burnout, pressure, or anxiety.
As kids move through middle childhood, sports often shift from play to performance. The games get longer. The coaching gets more intense. The stakes feel higher. Suddenly, what was once a joyful Saturday morning activity becomes another source of stress, comparison, and perfectionism.
And let’s not forget the toll of overscheduling.
Between school, homework, family obligations, and maybe even other sports, kids are juggling a lot. Sometimes quitting isn’t about rebellion, it’s about self-preservation.
What Are They Missing When They Stop?
There are real benefits to organized sports, teamwork, routine, physical activity, social connection. But that doesn’t mean every child needs to be on a team to access those things.
If your child decides they’re done with sports, the question becomes:
What else can help them move, connect, and grow?
It might be music, theater, robotics, volunteering, hiking, or art. What matters is that they’re showing up somewhere consistently, feeling supported, and developing skills that help them feel grounded and confident.
The “Don’t Force It” Dilemma
I hear it all the time:
“I don’t want to push them, but I also don’t want them to give up.”
Totally valid.
Here’s where I think parents can reframe things:
Instead of focusing on whether they’re winning, focus on whether they’re gaining something meaningful- growth, belonging, confidence, emotional regulation, or movement.
If the answer is no, it might be time to pivot, not quit altogether.
Maybe that means switching teams.
Trying a different level.
Finding a new coach.
Or even stepping away for a season.
The goal is to protect their relationship with movement and community, not push them to the point of resentment.
Bottom Line
Let’s raise kids who feel free to explore what lights them up and makes them excited, whether that’s running drills, playing guitar, building robots, or volunteering at the animal shelter.
Sports are one way to build skills, confidence, and friendships. But they’re not the only way.
My latest article in Psychology Today offers a closer look at how pressure, burnout, and perfectionism are affecting kids in sports—and what parents can do to help them stay active, connected, and emotionally well through middle school.
👉 Read it here